January 18, 2013
When I woke up this morning, I felt sadness of being alone and thought of bringing my parents here with me to take care of my son so I'm assured that he's well taken cared of. What a selfish thought! Honestly as first time mom, I am struggling! I am pressured in raising our son to be in accordance with the milestones his age should achieved. I am worried that I might fail or be short in guiding him. So, thinking of my parents being around, those things that I thought I would be lacking or can't do will be filled by them. I'm scared of raising a brat, a left behind kid, scared of other things. I don't know how to deal with these in the future. I consult the internet, other mom's experiences and my instict, but are they enough to ensure that I won't fail. I don't expect to have a wonder boy, I just want him to be like the other normal kids. It's all in me! Maybe my perfections is getting in the way. That I don't want to fail as a mother by coming short in assisting my son socially and in all aspects. With these reasons that I want my parents be here with me, are selfish and unfair for them. I know that they love to be with their grandson but compelling them to do things that I can't do because I am working is not fair. Time will come that they we will be together and it's in GOD's time.