January 10, 2011

Do I resent being a SAHmy?

When I gave birth to my son, I was left with no options than to quit my job and take care of him. My parents and most of my relatives/friends are in the Philippines, thus, I can't get any assistance. With regards to my inlaws, they are still working and can just occasionally baby sit. Being a Sahmy can be exciting and rewarding but it's not totally fun. You will deal almost everyday with taking care of the baby, chores and errands that can be so tiresome. With this, you will feel isolated for being tied up and having no time to yourself. You will miss your old self prior to this situation. You miss those days that you can just splurge and go wherever you want. Now, it's always focused on your son, what he needs. You will notice that you always shop for your son and no longer for your needs especially if you have one source of income. You need to be frugal and practical which oftentimes you ignored before. Then the raising/disciplining your child, that sometimes pressure you because you need to be a role model to him in order to instill good values. This is the stressful part for it needs all the patience, understanding and strength to deal with a child. But you can always look for avenues where you could have this experiences as tool to gain more friends. Your experiences when shared can do big things for others. It's a difficult transition for me to be a Sahmy because I've been working all my life, focused on my career that's why I was a late bloomer. Midlife crisis stroke me one day to realized and asked do I really want to be single or a have a family? Since I've chosen the latter, I was brought again to a difficult decision and that is to leave work and be a Sahmy. Honestly, I don't resent being a Sahmy because it really made me a better person. It's just harder here in USA because you only have few genuine supports. Unlike in the Philippines, you have your family, relatives and friends that are willing to lend you a hand anytime. This phase of my life is fulfilling because I have the memories of being with my son since birth up to the time that I can be at peace to leave him to someone and resume working. Those milestones that I witnessed are priceless! Being a sahmy is a choice that I will never regret!

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