March 23, 2011

Facebook ruins relationships?!

Thanks to Mark Zuckerberg and his friends for bringing Facebook to life, although it ruined some people's lives. Facebook is the cool and easy medium to get updated and reconnect with friends, with just a few clicks and post on your status, you're able to communicate with all of your friends. You don't need to go through to know some relatives because in Facebook there's a good chance that you'll see some of them due to its million of users. There are lots of good things about Facebook but there's always  some sort of side effect when not properly used.  Facebook helps heal old wounds but it can also sparks new flame. I had a chat with my friend and before I was able to ask her how's married life, she suprised me by saying she's single again. It's a shocking news, never expected that it will happen because they were an ideal couple and they've been in a long courtship before they got married. I wanted to know details but I controlled myself and waited for her to share. The culprit of the breakup is Facebook, her husband of 5 years reconnected with an old flame and claimed that he's destined to be with the ex-gf. It was truly devastating for her, they have one child who's in her custody. She discovered the affair when her husband forgot to sign out from Facebook, she opened his inbox, then found flirty and in sexual nature exchange of messages. She got so furious and went ballistic on him until the guy said that she doesn't have the right to read his messages and should respect privacy (what a nerve to say that!). She didn't see this thing coming because the husband usually access Facebook while at work and on his iPhone.  Facebook can be a way to find love the same thing that dating sites do but if you're in a relationship/marriage, there should be rules of boundaries. This is not a question of trust because lots of people tend to break it but more of a commitment to stay within the boundaries. In my case, I encourage hubby to join Facebook but he's not really interested but still I made an account for him. I persuaded him to go through it and search for his old friends / classmates and showed him some of my friends' photos but still ended up uninterested. But it helps, for him to understand what is Facebook all about. One time, I teased him by asking if he searched for his old flame and he said, 'do you do that?', NO!, I replied. I made sure that old flames are not on my friend list, it's better that way because there's no reason to reconnect. My friend's husband claimed that he's destined to be with the ex-gf because when they're reminiscing their past, it was the happiest part of his life and he doesn't want to let go of it again. Come to think of it, reconnecting with an old flame initiates recalling of happy memories, then you have this unexplainable feeling that you thought as love but it's because both of you are living on your past and ignoring the present. Where are the fights, cursing, cause of breakup, incompatibilites memories? One should remember that you're living on the present and things change. The ex-gf could have change into worse but the guy wouldn't know it yet because they kept on dwelling on their happy memories. Even they claimed that their relatioship before is better than his marriage with my friend, he can be wrong because there are some good things that never last! I just hope couples or those in relationship could set boundaries in Facebook, the same rules you applied with your kids such as limited time in Facebook, choose your friends with added important one, don't search and reconnect with old flames.

1 comment:

mistytewest said...

I am really hating the new Facebook layout...I like the old one when not everyone was there...sometimes Facebook frustrates me...