April 05, 2011

When is Enough enough?

I'm not going to be Dr. Phil here, I will just share my thoughts about the question when is enough enough? The mere fact that someone asked this question means that she/he reached the border or over it. That border is your tolerance which is fueled by respect, love and care. Since, you're running out of either the three traits, or worse, all of them, your tolerance could no longer hang on and it's time to give up. I'm not a relationship guru and mine is not perfect too but I decided to make this post as to help a friend who's so confuse these days. She shared some heartaches caused by her crippling marriage. After hearing some details, I told her, Enough is Enough and she asked me when is enough enough? It can be a hard question because this is based on one's emotion. People differs from one another with regards to handling emotions. It's easy for me to tell her, enough is enough based on what she shared to me but there are other factors involve in here, love, respect, care and children. She might want to say enough to herself because she's hurting but deep inside of her, there's still the love and care for the husband. As I always remember don't make decisions based on emotions because it's not always reliable. As for me to judge and criticize the husband based on the heartaches she caused my friend is a bit biased. I know that each of us have unique personalities and we can't judge others for not doing what we think is right. I might have a strong personality and can deal with pressures and others might be weak to cope thus, they ended up with bad decisions which hurt others. Whenever we're hurt or in any pain whether physical or emotional, our tendencies is to quit. The worst case is ending your own life and I thinks it's too selfish to do. It's running away regardless of the price, it's a sin and you're leaving your love ones heart broken. The other one is divorce/separation when you're in a marriage or relationship. As I read in many how-to books, quitting from a relationship and looking for a new one will temporarily make you feel better but you will be in the same situation again a few years later because the secret for marriage/relationship to work is not finding the right person, it's learning to love the person you found. Again, I don't insinuate that be a martyr and stay even you're hurting and unhappy. My thoughts on when is enough Enough and it's should be finally over is when you have more than one of the 3A's, Addiction, Abuse (physical, verbal) and Adultery as reasons. Why wait until you'll be abused, he/she committed adultery, hooked in vices, if you can say it quits on the first symptoms? Remember, people commit mistakes, everyone deserves second chance and nobody is perfect.

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