September 23, 2011

Funny Divorce Letter

What a good morning, a lot of things made me smile and laugh, a nice way to start the day. I woke up early because hubby will go fishing so I need to prepare his snack while he's loading up his fishing stuff. I prepared bbq chicken which I grilled yesterday, bottled water and pop. When hubby saw me preparing, he asked me to include a can of kernel corn as part of his bait, so I did. Hubby was ready to go but he thought of checking what I prepared for him, there's the hilarious part. Instead of bottled water, I put vinegar because the generic white vinegar that I bought which I placed also in refrigerator looks the same with the bottled water. Then the kernel corn turned as tomato sauce, they both have the yellow label, the latter was a Mexican brand,that's why it's yellow different from the usual red label. Hubby and I have a good laugh, he said that maybe I thought of a meal for a fish that needed tomato sauce and vinegar. He said, he doesn't have plan to have a picnic and spend time to cook there, LOL! Then, when I signed in to my facebook account, I saw a note about couple's divorce letter which I found funny and a photo which is not related to the divorce letter. So, I'm sharing with you these so that you'll smile and have a good laugh because I did.

Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! 

Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

1 comment:

R. Angela Vause said...

That is SO funny. I came here for the divorce joke, and read this.