January 19, 2012

Bluer than Blue

I feel bored and sad today because I have lots of things in mind, plans/goals but I don't know how and when I will be able to fulfill them. The weather somehow contributed on this feeling because inasmuch as I wanted to go out and make the most of hubby's day off, the cold weather hinders. It's so difficult to bring out/in our son in this kind of weather and usually everyone just want to stay warm. Also, my blogging sideline is a little bit low which means less financial inputs which I'm looking forward to allocate on my board examination fee. I've been through this kind of mood lots of time so I know that this too shall pass, the only difference is that I'm talking about it and posting it here. I got pressured too when I realized that January will be over in less than two weeks, I told to myself, wait a minute, have I accomplished some of my to-do-list this first quarter of 2012. I always make todolist, it works on me because it avoids procrastination, things set for a day should be done on that day. I plan ahead but that makes me sad because some factors are not cooperating to fulfill my plans. Anyways, there are things that we can't control so we just need to be patient and wait. I hate this feeling of being unproductive, like being lazy and taking it easy despite lots of things to do. What I meant with this is, my daily routine of after having my on the job training, picking up my son from school, feeding my son, then taking a very long nap together with him and after that, prepares dinner and do some chores, viola! nothing has been accomplished from my todolist for the day. I can't do some when my son needs my attention like he asks me to play with him and when he wants to hug and kiss. He deserves those times and I can't ignore his needs though sometimes I feel guilty about not giving in. I worry too much, I know, I should be happy and thankful because I'm too blessed in so many ways. But, sadness can be blessing in disguise because that's GOD's way to let me know that he's there and I just need to speak with him. Tomorrow when I wake up, this too shall pass. It just so happen that my color is blue today and it's bluer but not darker, lol!

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