April 07, 2012
, Posted in Embracing US Culture , Family , Motherhood , MySon , Parenting , Relationships , Sentimental , 0 Comments
I was a late bloomer, meaning I got married in my late 30's which earned my mom a masteral degree in motherhood because in my culture, we're not compelled to move out from our parents when we became adult. Just imagine, the motherhood/parenting skills that my mom has put into those years that I've been with them. Modesty aside, I've been a very good daughter to them. I gave them good grades and recognition during my gradeschool to highschool except in college where I got confused on what I really wanted thus, my grades were not that impressive. Fast forward, I got married and had the greatest blessing and true essence of a woman, my dearest son. Being a first mom, was not that easy and I believe that each mom is different from the others. There's no school or manual on learning the rules on how to be a mom/parent, you rely on your instict and the people around you for support. There are lots of guidelines taken from others' experiences but it doesn't follow that it will work on you. But it could make the motherhood task easier and fun. My son is turning a year older this month and I can't avoid looking back on what have I done for him. Being a good mom takes a lot of time, patience, effort and responsibility. When raising a son, each day brings new challenges and opportunities to make it right or wrong. That's why I kept on asking myself how to make it right, where and how can I learn to become a good mom. I thought of my mom's way of raising me and that's somehow my blue print but of course my son, his culture, where he's at and the stages of his development are way far different from mine. I have lots of avenues where I seek assistance and I make myself aware that there are lots of opportunities to learn strategies and style and being a mom is a constant process. I must admit that I have a kind of fear in raising my child because there are pressure from the families of doing this and that, which hubby and I don't comply with. I fear that what if my son might not be good in class, that he might be bullied, that he might be too shy to open up and some other odd and negative thoughts. I read that many moms/parents are treating their kids as a project. They provide lots of activities for their kids, sort of letting their kids over-worked just to ensure that they will excel or get ahead. This is the usual scenario here in USA and some use these activities to relieve them from watching / taking care of their kids. I'm not saying it's bad, circumstances led these moms/parents to do it. But, that's my fear when the time comes that I'm working full time and my son would just get few hours time from me or worst scenario none at all. Why motherhood/parenting seemed so difficult? I thought maybe because I as a mom/parent has a LOT of expectation from myself as a mother and the environment added to pressure too, where it persuade you to compete and excel. Come to think of it, during our great-grand parents' time, they raise their kids in a very simple way, gave birth at home, feed them natural food, teach them some chores, when they're old enough they were sent to school. Extra-curricular activities such as sports, tech gadgets/toys, None! it's just doing the chores. But, these kids became our father and mother, some of them became presidents and succesful careers. They didn't have all those activities, gadgets, technology to get ahead. It's how they struggle in life that made these kids become succesful. Now, kids are provided with all their needs to cover up the time/attention that we/moms/parents are not giving to them. These are the thoughts that somehow created this small fear in me on how to raise my son. He's in a different timeline and culture so it's not easy for me though hubby is with me but beign the stay at home, I have more of the tasks. In this modern world, the more protection and security should be given to our kids so they would grow up as a GOD fearing person and not MORE into material attachment as their source of measuring happiness. Todate, I can say that I'm doing a good job because motherhood/parenthood is very challenging job and nobody is perfect. As days pass, we learn. Looking forward to more years of motherhood/parenting to my son up to the time that I already earned the Bachelor of Science in Motherhood and then my masteral degree.