February 13, 2013

I just only want to be happy

"I just only want to be happy" that's my friend's line when we talked the other day. I haven't spoke with her in six months so we have a long hours of phone conversation to catch up on what have happened to us. She whined, complained and blamed her miserable life right now to her husband. I don't want to be biased so I asked her lots of questions and more details on what's the status of her marriage. All these years she projected that she's the happiest wife in the world because she's living a luxurous life but it's fake. She's been miserable for many years and she kept on saying she just only want to be happy and why it's so hard for her to be. I shared with her what I've read online about being happy. It's not built-in, it's not automatic. It has many ingredients and the top ingredient that matters is accepting yourself for what you are. We ignore what's true about ourselves. We live on others' expectation, the pressure of our environment that we needed to fit in, we kept on comparing ourselves to others. If we see others being happy on simple things like completing a newspaper puzzle, watching tv show re-runs, discovering and cooking a new dish, gardening and other things not in our interest, we ask ourselves, why are they happy doing that? and for real, we may say, that's so stupid or that's a waste of time or that's for the losers. But the truth, some people might also thinking that way on your interests. You may not have the happiness they're experiencing doing those things, so you should reflect and build your happiness within your interest and values. Do not blame being unhappy to other people because you can be happy if you stop comparing yourselves to others' happiness. When my friend mentioned the line 'I just want to be happy', I told her stop saying that because she's been happy lots of times and measuring her happiness based on others' is not right. In my experience, I have lots of happy times than the not so happy ones because whenever I have the reason to be happy, I feel that moment and express it so whenever I feel blue, I just look back and those times are so vivid because I savored the moment to the max that's why it still affects me from time to time.

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